Your call is important to us ...

... so we'll put you on hold, play you dreadful music, and if you're lucky (and still there - bit of a contradiction really) we'll tell you how far down the pecking order you are. We might even estimate how long it'll be until we can actually talk to you. Oh, and there may even be a chance to select different music by using the buttons on your phone. Then, after a long wait - and this is really pushing your luck - you may speak to someone who understands and talks fluent English.