No-nos

- Clothing abuse, e.g.s:- Men's suit or work trousers falling 2 or 3 inches short of the ankle; men's jackets that are too tight; men's jackets with sleeves a few inches short of the wrist; curled collars on formal shirts; grey whites; pink with orange

- Hair abuse, e.g.s: The comb over; rampant, unfettered hair growth from various orifices- shaved chest (er, men); nasal macramé

- Food abuse, e.g.s: Horseradish with anything; marzipan; borscht; did I mention horseradish?

- Biscuit abuse, e.g.s: Dunking a lemon puff; sharing a Jaffa Cake

- Employment abuse, e.g.s: See earlier posts on "Management BS", "Outsourcing" and "Hot-desking"

- Art abuse, e.g.s: Damien Hirst; Tracey Emin